Question
How do I cultivate responsibility in my 18-year-old child? My child is now 18, but it seems to lack basic responsibility and guilt. He refuses to take final exams, does not want to study after school or do homework, and only wants to get a 10. I have tried various methods, both soft and hard, but it seems that he has no feelings at all, very selfish, and never considers others. He seems to think everything is taken for granted. Sometimes I even worry that he might become a criminal and face legal responsibility alone. What should I do? Is there no hope for him? Does he not even have the basic personality in such a situation?
Answer
This issue may be related to the child’s overly indulgent family education from a young age, or it may be related to his personality traits. Lack of responsibility, unwillingness to face pressure, and the absence of guilt make parents very distressed. If concerned, it is suggested to take the child to a psychiatric department for examination at the hospital, and if necessary, seek timely formal treatment. In daily life, family members should pay more attention and care to the child, not over criticize or reprimand him, but focus on his strengths and talents, and praise his every progress in time to help him build self-confidence. At the same time, it is also necessary to educate him about rules awareness, so that he understands that breaking rules will result in additional penalties. Use sincere care to soften him, so that he can gradually feel the care and warmth from family and friends, and gradually change. It may also be considered to let him undergo psychological counseling treatment to help him better understand himself and cultivate responsibility.